Impressions of DVD; Never Not Funny!

This Is Fake DIY, March 10, 2011, "Matthew Fox's West End Stage Debut" by Becky Reed.

Before then, we were treated to a meaty 45-minute talk on this particular night. Fox and Williams relaxed on the set sofa, wine in hand (red for Matthew, white for Olivia), while LaBute entertained us with shit Dick Van Dyke impressions whilst sipping on a Coke.

They've Been Out for Revenge All Along!

Another example of mentioning D.V.D.'s bad cockney accent when talking about an English actor's bad American accent.

This is Leicestershire, January 05, 2009, TV review: Demons by Jeremy Clay

Well, it’s taken a while, but it’s finally happened. We’ve had our revenge for Dick Van Dyke.

So take a bow Philip Glenister. Actually, on second thoughts, don’t.

In Demons (7.20pm, Saturday), ITV’s bold but backfiring attempt to create a British Buffy, Glenister used an American accent so ropey you half expected to hear the director shout “Cut!” every time he opened his gob.

That shout never came. Perhaps everyone realised he was doing a splendid job of drawing attention away from Demons’ many shortcomings.

Brits Forced to Adopt Bad American Accents to Use iPhone Features; Dick Van Dyke Repeatedly Cited

The Register (Biting the Hand That Feeds IT), November 19, 2008, Google tells the world how to talk; Received Pronunciation not received, Scots scotched by Bill Ray

Google's voice search is, it turns out, optimised for North American accents and has distinct problems understanding proper English as the BBC defines it - forcing English users to adopt the kind of dodgy accents not usually seen outside a karaoke night.

Google's iPhone application warns users that "Voice Search only works in English, and works best for North American English accents", as noted by Cult of Mac, but one doesn't expect to have to adopt an septic twang just to get an internet search completed - though that appears to be the case.

The Telegraph reports that a Scot asking for iPhone was offered searches for Sex instead, while a Welsh accent delivered "gorillas" and "kitchen sink". Even a Surrey accent failed, delivering "my sister"...

Clearly we can't sit by and watch our very language be attacked in this way, and must petition the BBC to create their own Voice Search application that refuses to respond to any sound containing so much as a hint of regional inflection.

Meanwhile we'll have to content ourselves with laughing at iPhone users as they attempt American accents that would make Dick Van Dyke look accomplished.

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The Independent, November 19th, 2008, Cyberclinic: Computer says "Sorry, didn't catch that" by Rhodri Marsden

In the past few days, British iPhone users have been bellowing into their phones in a range of timbres and accents that make them sound like they're auditioning for a place at Jon Culshaw's Elementary School of Impressionism. That's because Google have just launched a Voice Search facility for their Google Mobile App; it senses when you lift the iPhone to your head, it beeps, awaits for search data to emerge from your mouth - like, I dunno, maybe "BNP postcode search" and then presents the results on the screen for you. That theoretically saves you approximately 10 seconds that you would have spent keying stuff in on-screen, although in practice it only works if you adopt the kind of ludicrous transatlantic accent deployed by TV chef Robert Irvine (oblique reference there, I know, but if you don't indulge in TV cooking shows as much as I do, just replace "Robert Irvine" with "Dick van Dyke".)

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Just wanted to point out that the traditional Dick Van Dyke joke falls apart when you're talking about doing an American accent, because he actually has one. Being an American and all.

Alison Moyet Can't Do an American Accent, Just Like D.V.D.

The Sunday Mail, Apr 20 2008, "Alison Moyet reunites with Vince Clarke for first time in 16 years", by Billy Sloan

She also tried her hand at acting and appeared in hit musical Chicago in London's West End, playing kailer Mama Morton opposite Denise Van OUten as Roxy Hart.

She said: "I'd always hated musicals. They're a bit naff. And me and an American accent didn't go too well together - it was all a bit too Dick Van Dyke."

Mind you, I'm not a professional language coach, but I think I see your your problem, Alison. The reason you couldn't successfully do an American accent was because he was attempting a cockney accent!

And what's up with those typos? "kailer"? "OUten"? For a moment there, I thought I was reading the Guardian.


Time elapsed since premiere of Mary Poppins:

15,941 days

Time elapsed since someone mentioned D.V.D.'s accent:

1 day