They Hate D.V.D.'s Accent in Arizona

Can't really count this one, seeing as it is not a Brit doing the complaining, but still -- two in one day!

The Arizona Republic, Sept. 30, 2007, Network TV is suddenly foreign affair

"Still, you have to wonder: Is Jupiter aligning with Mars? Is this some kind of karmic payback for Dick Van Dyke's atrocious British accent in Mary Poppins?"

See, a Brit wouldn't call it a "British" accent, but would narrow it down to "Cockney" or "London", while on the other hand, Americans think Brits have only one accent.

Time elapsed since premiere of Mary Poppins:

15,737 days.

Time elapsed since someone mentioned D.V.D.'s accent:

0 days!

See, it's funny; "The Spoof" says so.

The Spoof, Sept 29, 2007,

Eh, it's not really the news media, just a half-assed humor web page called The Spoof, but I'll count it as a mention. It's really an indictment of how tired the joke is, when you weigh it against all the other tired jokes in the piece.

"Mr Edward's altruistic behaviour appeared to have the full backing of his wife. Talking in the kind of accent not heard in London since Dick Van Dyke's 'Bert' in Mary Poppins, Jane Edwards said..."

Oh, who cares what she said. It's a limp attempt at making fun of... something or other. Can anyone tell me what this page is lampooning and why it is supposed to be funny? If anyone can, I will retract the following statement: "I apologize for posting it."

However, I don't have to retract the following shameful statistics:

Time elapsed since premiere of Mary Poppins:

15,737 days.

Time elapsed since a Brit mentioned D.V.D.'s accent:

9 days

The Prevalent D.V.D.-style Patois

Manchester Evening News, "Academy date for Jack the lad", Gary Ryan
Sept 20, 2007

"This summer, Radio One hammered a tune called LDN Is A Victim, which satirised how privileged and monied people have co-opted the Big Smoke's music scene. Cribbing its tune and title from Kate Nash's Caroline Is A Victim and Lily Allen's LDN, it attacked the prevalent Dick Van Dyke-style faux Jamie T/Mike Skinner patois."

Time elapsed since premiere of Mary Poppins:

15,729 days.

Time elapsed since a Brit mentioned D.V.D.'s accent in the press:

11 days

D.V.D. Confuses Gmail Spam Filter

I set up a Google alert for any news items on "Dick Van Dyke", with other keywords like "cockney" and "accent" and "Poppins".

Much to my surprise, Gmail's filter spotted the words "Dick" and "Dyke", and decided those messages were spam.

Daniel Radcliffe does not want to sound like D.V.D.

From Variety, September 11, 2007:

Daniel Radcliffe debuted his first muggle role since being cast as Harry Potter at the DGA premiere of "December Boys" on Thursday.

"I was nervous about being with a whole new film crew and that they'd expect me to be some sort of spoiled brat," Radcliffe said.

The young actor also worried about nailing an Australian accent for his latest pic. "It's very easy to make an accent a caricature," he said. "I didn't want to sound like Dick Van Dyke in 'Mary Poppins.'"

Apparently, D.V.D.'s cockney accent was so bad that it can have an effect on an actor trying to sound Australian!


Time elapsed since premiere of Mary Poppins:

15,719 days.

Time elapsed since a Brit mentioned D.V.D.'s accent in the press:

2 days

Crest of the MODVDA

I'm still learning how to use The Gimp, so it took several days of tinkering to finish the ministry's crest. And here it is:

D.V.D. called "Godfather of Awful East Enders"

The Telegraph says the award for the worst accent in cinema history goes to:

1 Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins (1964)

The transitory nature of theatrical performances means that even the most abominable stage accents tend to be forgotten as the years pass. Film, of course, is another matter - so, as she prepares to adopt a London twang for her Eliza Doolittle on Broadway, Claire Danes will have to look to past movies for lessons in How Not To Do It, and above all to the Godfather of awful East Enders, Dick Van Dyke.

It feels so predictable to have him at number one, but there's just no way round it: the Missouri-born actor's stab at cockney remains the most extra-terrestrial accent ever committed to film - not English, not American, but something from another dimension.

He delivered such immortal lines as " 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, 'eavy weather brewin' at number 17 and no mistake" very much like a Clanger on crack.

Bonus points for the title of the article: "Irritable vowels".

Time elapsed since Mary Poppins premiere:

43 years, 9 days.

Time elapsed since last complaint spotted in British media:

6 days.