Ach, Hoot Mon, Ah'm in Yer Internets, Makin' Foon of Dick Van Dyke's Cockney!

The Scotsman, March 15, 2009, Album review: Peter Doherty | Grace/Wastelands by Peter Doherty

And cor blimey mate, the 'Sweet By And By' will have you suspecting Randy Newman has entered the room in the guise of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.

MEMO TO D.V.D.: "Um, Dick... They Actually Haven't Forgiven You."

Hollywood Today, February 18th, 2009, Mary Poppins Still Delights by Gabrielle Pantera

Another challenge for Van Dyke was the accent. “I was trying my best to do Cockney,” says Van Dyke. “In some scenes I almost get it and in other scenes it isn’t there at all. It’s amazing how the British forgave me for my bad accent.”

The Campaign Gains Traction

"...most will never be bothered by it...'

This was obviously written by an American...

Mary Poppins: 45th Anniversary Edition DVD Review, ultimatedisney.com, January 29, 2009.

Dick Van Dyke claims as much screentime and though his challenged Cockney accent is a frequent source of ridicule, most will never be bothered by it. He's far too charismatic in providing some of the piece's heart and soul to notice what may be off-key diction.

*****

I was sorely tempted by this a couple weeks ago, but $15 seemed a bit much:



Sadly, it's not a talking doll.

DVD in Reverse!

The cliché has expanded lately -- now Brits compare fellow Brits doing American accents to Dick Van Dyke, an American, trying and failing to do a Cockney accent.

I am an American, and I do a pretty fair impression of a Brit trying and failing to do an American accent -- I wonder what they would make of that?

****

Den of Geek, January 13, 2009, Demons episode 2 review by Gemma Reilly

There is bad blood between Simeon and Galvin - or ‘the colonial’ as the old zombie calls him, voice dripping with that typical Wilson disdain – and the origins of their mutual dislike will no doubt be revealed in a later episode. For now, Simeon warns Luke that Galvin cannot be trusted.

He’s probably right. That accent was decidedly shifty last week, but now it’s like Dick Van Dyke in reverse. Glenister’s vowels appear to be enjoying a whistlestop tour of the US; one minute he’s having a crack at generic Noo Joizey, the next he’s all ‘hey-howdy-hey, ma’am, looks like y’all could use some help’. It’s distracting and entirely pointless; why does Galvin need to be American in the first place?

They've Been Out for Revenge All Along!

Another example of mentioning D.V.D.'s bad cockney accent when talking about an English actor's bad American accent.

This is Leicestershire, January 05, 2009, TV review: Demons by Jeremy Clay

Well, it’s taken a while, but it’s finally happened. We’ve had our revenge for Dick Van Dyke.

So take a bow Philip Glenister. Actually, on second thoughts, don’t.

In Demons (7.20pm, Saturday), ITV’s bold but backfiring attempt to create a British Buffy, Glenister used an American accent so ropey you half expected to hear the director shout “Cut!” every time he opened his gob.

That shout never came. Perhaps everyone realised he was doing a splendid job of drawing attention away from Demons’ many shortcomings.

Brits Forced to Adopt Bad American Accents to Use iPhone Features; Dick Van Dyke Repeatedly Cited

The Register (Biting the Hand That Feeds IT), November 19, 2008, Google tells the world how to talk; Received Pronunciation not received, Scots scotched by Bill Ray

Google's voice search is, it turns out, optimised for North American accents and has distinct problems understanding proper English as the BBC defines it - forcing English users to adopt the kind of dodgy accents not usually seen outside a karaoke night.

Google's iPhone application warns users that "Voice Search only works in English, and works best for North American English accents", as noted by Cult of Mac, but one doesn't expect to have to adopt an septic twang just to get an internet search completed - though that appears to be the case.

The Telegraph reports that a Scot asking for iPhone was offered searches for Sex instead, while a Welsh accent delivered "gorillas" and "kitchen sink". Even a Surrey accent failed, delivering "my sister"...

Clearly we can't sit by and watch our very language be attacked in this way, and must petition the BBC to create their own Voice Search application that refuses to respond to any sound containing so much as a hint of regional inflection.

Meanwhile we'll have to content ourselves with laughing at iPhone users as they attempt American accents that would make Dick Van Dyke look accomplished.

****

The Independent, November 19th, 2008, Cyberclinic: Computer says "Sorry, didn't catch that" by Rhodri Marsden

In the past few days, British iPhone users have been bellowing into their phones in a range of timbres and accents that make them sound like they're auditioning for a place at Jon Culshaw's Elementary School of Impressionism. That's because Google have just launched a Voice Search facility for their Google Mobile App; it senses when you lift the iPhone to your head, it beeps, awaits for search data to emerge from your mouth - like, I dunno, maybe "BNP postcode search" and then presents the results on the screen for you. That theoretically saves you approximately 10 seconds that you would have spent keying stuff in on-screen, although in practice it only works if you adopt the kind of ludicrous transatlantic accent deployed by TV chef Robert Irvine (oblique reference there, I know, but if you don't indulge in TV cooking shows as much as I do, just replace "Robert Irvine" with "Dick van Dyke".)

****

Just wanted to point out that the traditional Dick Van Dyke joke falls apart when you're talking about doing an American accent, because he actually has one. Being an American and all.