The Guardian, December 10, 2014, "Lobsters, rabies and wardrobe malfunctions: stars on their school plays" by Jenny Stevens

Nina Wadia I played Bert the chimney sweep in Mary Poppins when I was 11: the brush was taller than I was, I had braces, short rolled up trousers. The “chim chim-in-ey” song? That was my big number. I went to an expat school in Hong Kong and I was the only Indian girl in the class. So there I was, with this very strong Indian accent, trying to copy Dick Van Dyke cockney.

Codheads vs Cod-Cockney

Yahoo News, February 25, 2016, "The People Of Grimsby Slate Sacha Baron Cohen's Accent In New Movie."

In a somewhat poetic case of getting their own back after being lampooned by the comedian’s latest character, the beer-swilling hooligan Nobby, he’s been dubbed 'the new Dick Van Dyke’, akin to the star’s cod-Cockney twang in 'Mary Poppins’.

Gor Blimey, Siri!

Macworld, April 25, 2016, "Apple Siri vs Microsoft Cortana vs Google Now vs Amazon Echo Alexa: Which is the best voice control technology?" by Cliff Joseph

If you've got a really strong regional accent, or something like Dick Van Dyke's legendary cockney accent from Mary Poppins then you might get the occasional "Sorry, I didn't catch that." As it happens, I am a genuine cockernee myself, and it was only OK Google that understood my exaggerated "Cor blimey, guvnor!" when I tried a Dick Van Dyke impression as a test.

Squeek, G'vnr

 GQ, May 24, 2016 , "Call Of Duty is dead. Long live Overwatch" by James Ramsay

Colour, humour, character, joy. All things that have been sorely missing from the FPS genre of late. Instead of a nameless infantry grunt, you play as one of 21 heroes - all unique, all capable of radically changing the outcome of a firefight. There's McCree the gun-slinging cowboy who can pick off enemies with his magnum. Or pick Tracer, who can rewind time and sounds like Dick Van Dyke’s cockney accent on helium.

I Got Stuck in a Chimney

Not exactly a DVD accent reference, but what the hell. 

The Guardian, December 19, 2014, Experience: I got stuck in a chimney, by Leo Wan.

"After that, someone posted a picture of Dick Van Dyke on my Facebook wall."

A comic about DVD

This comic is great!

Mary Pulpfictions

CBS News, December 18, 2013, "Pulp Fiction," "Mary Poppins" added to National Film Registry, by David Morgan.

I'll have a lot more to say in the new year. I really should go see "Saving Mr. Banks" if I want to take this blog seriously, I suppose.

"You don't get Fawlty Towers, Morrissey and Martin Amis from a nation that likes itself."

Oh, I've been keeping up this blog so well!

 The Observer, April 6, 2013 , "George Osborne, gawd bless yer" by Victoria Coren

Arriving at the elegant, members-only gaming club, awed by its glittering chandeliers and sweeping staircase, I heard myself say to the top-hatted doorman: "Hellair, we're har for the game upstars." Transformed, by a mere doorway, from Dick Van Dyke to the Duchess of Devonshire.

I really liked this paragraph about British self-loathing.

The British are supposed to be self-doubting rather than self-righteous – since the dissolution of empire, anyway. It's one of the things I'm most patriotic about. From our awkwardness and embarrassment has sprung a complexity of literature, comedy and pop music that no other country can touch, for all their sunny weather and expressive street carnivals. You don't get Fawlty Towers, Morrissey and Martin Amis from a nation that likes itself.

I couldn't be happier that DVD just got married to Arlene Silver, his 40-year-old make-up artist. First off, I love the idea that 40 is a "younger woman".  Second, what a zaftig doll!  And third, I just think it's great that he's getting married at frickin' 86.  

Happy 86th Bert-day!

From a far-flung friend...

Hey Ministry: I wanted to send you over a little treat of a video that I shot at my girlfriend's apartment here in Córdoba, Argentina. It's from a counterfeit dvd purchased on the street with 5 classic films compressed on to one DVD in ultra-shit quality, one of which is Mary Poppins. This version is over dubbed with very hammy Castillian (Spain) Spanish, and even though we are deprived of dick's famous accent, the overdubbed one is also pretty horrendous. For whatever its worth here it is... All the best, SJ

Neil Gaiman's American Accent Inspired by Dick Van Dyke

Pittsburgh Post Gazette Staff Blogs, November 18, 2011, "Neil Gaiman guests on 'The Simpsons' Sunday, then it's back to writing" by Sharon Eberson.

The toughest thing for him was the reading of a line that required a bad American accent. He kept being told to make it worse, until it was suggested he think of Dick Van Dyke’s British accent in “Mary Poppins.” “It’s the kind that makes our toes curl, like when he says [and here Mr. Gaiman launches into Dick Van Dyke as Burt], ‘It’s a jolly holiday with Mary.’ So I tried to reach those heights, or depths.”

The Dick Van Dyke School for Cockney Studies

Just catching up on the backlog. Haven't updated the blog in forever, so there are 50 or 60 Dick Van Dyke references to catch up on.

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Obsessed With Film, March 30th, 2011, "TV Review: Martina Cole's THE RUNAWAY" by Simon Gallagher.

Everyone looks like they’re fresh from the Danny Dyer/Tamer Hassan school of acting (which incidentally owes a lot to the Dick Van Dyke school for Cockney Studies).

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RPG Fan, April 1st, 2011, "April Fools 2011: Details on the Possible Final Kingdom Hearts Title" by John Tucker.

The biggest surprises, though, come in the form of new worlds. Having already explored many iconic Disney worlds in previous Kingdom Hearts games, Square Enix is now branching out into new territory. Over the years, many have mocked Dick Van Dyke's attempt at a cockney accent, but we'll be hearing it again when he joins the party in a Mary Poppins-themed world.

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Philadelphia Magazine, April 1st, 2011, "Review: “Mary Poppins” at the Academy of Music" by Aaron Mettey.

Yet for all of the effort made to ensure Mary looks/acts like Julie Andrews’s Mary, more care should have been taken with casting Bert. Inevitably, you can’t imagine anyone other than Dick Van Dyke playing Bert—horrible accent, and all. So Nicolas Dromard is already at a disadvantage. No matter how much he is able to bring/b to the role (which is actually quite a lot), I couldn’t help but want someone lankier, someone more … well, Van Dyke-ian.

Impressions of DVD; Never Not Funny!

This Is Fake DIY, March 10, 2011, "Matthew Fox's West End Stage Debut" by Becky Reed.

Before then, we were treated to a meaty 45-minute talk on this particular night. Fox and Williams relaxed on the set sofa, wine in hand (red for Matthew, white for Olivia), while LaBute entertained us with shit Dick Van Dyke impressions whilst sipping on a Coke.

Dick Van Dyke, Dialect Preservationist

News Shopper, March 9th, 2011, "Chas 'n' Dave take farewell tour to The Orchard and IndigO2" by Matthew Jenkin.

And with the news last summer the famous cockney dialect will be all but a memory within a generation, preserved in vintage episodes of EastEnders and shonky Dick Van Dyke films, should we shed a tear for the end of an era?

Saddest Love Story

The Vine, March 9th, 2011 "Mary Poppins- the saddest unrequited love story Disney ever made" by Vera Bermuda

I’m sure as a child I realised there must have been something between Mary and Bert. After all, as other movies had shown me, if there was a male and female character of the same age and species, they would naturally be in love by the film’s end. Mary and Bert never so much as kiss in the film, but the flirtation is clear and, as I discovered yesterday, the on-screen chemistry between Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke is palpable. There are meaningful looks, warm compliments, tender physical contact, but at the end of the film Mary is gone, flying off into the smoggy London sky, and the romance between herself and Bert remains unrequited.

From the beginning of the film the connection between the two is established. As Bert attempts to earn a few bob as a one-man band in the film’s initial scene the wind picks up and he is overtaken by a kind of reverie. Lost in the moment he casts his eyes skyward and with an anticipatory chill (and a terrible cockney accent) sings:

Can’t put me finger on what lies in store
But I feel what’s to ‘appen, all ‘appened before.

Accent Toned Down Below DVD Level: Media Complains About Earlier Level

Daily Mirror, July 7th, 2011, "Law And Order: UK - ITV1, 9pm" by Jane Simon

Not least because Jamie Bamber’s Dick Van Dyke mockney accent has been toned down so that you’re not expecting Chas and Dave to gatecrash proceedings at any moment for a tinkle on the old Joanna.

DVD's Accent is as English as Muffins To an Australian

The Age, March 5, 2011, "Divide and Conquer" by Graham Hunter

Liverpool FC (''we are Britain's kings of Europe'') face Manchester United (''we are the richest, we are the most talked about'') in a battle royale.

This is the Premiership's fiercest rivalry. It should be as English as muffins, whingeing, rain, crumpets, cream and jam, Walkabout Pubs, Dick Van Dyke doing a horrible accent in Mary Poppins and Sir Ian Botham crowing about the cricket.

Spot On!

This is a slide show of twenty entries. Couple of new additions to the roster of actors with bad accents include: Humphrey Bogart's attempt at an Irish brogue in Dark Victory; Mickey Rooney's yellowface performance in Breakfast at Tiffany's; Demi Moore's awful British accent in Flawless. Bonus -- includes links to YouTube clips.

Toronto Sun, March 2, 2011, "Worst Movie Accents".

WHO: Dick Van Dyke as Bert. MOVIE: “Mary Poppins” (1964). ACCENT SUPPOSED TO BE: British (Cockney). SOUNDS LIKE: A man who needs a new dialect coach.

Dr. Mark Sloan and Mr. Hyde

BroadwayWorld.com, March 1, 2011, "JEKYLL AND HYDE, New Wimbledon Theatre" by Gary Naylor

After Frank Wildhorn and Leslie Bricusse wrought almost as thoroughgoing a transformation on the tale as Doctor Jekyll did to himself, this version provides plenty of setpiece songs, mercifully few special effects and costume changes and yet more opportunities to hear that stage Cockney accent that owes rather more to Dick Van Dyke than to the East End of London..