This Fortnight in Dick Van Dyke's Accent

I only know of two people who read this blog -- my barber and a friend -- so here's an apology to my readers (plural!) for not posting in a while. It would be a bit much to call my readers (plural!) "my public", wouldn't it?

Up The Saddlers (Football Club fan site), March 28, 2008, "Southend vs Walsall Preview" by Neil

Down to Sarfend tomorrow. Sarfend, the playground of the Cockneys. What a depressing thought that is – thousands of people trying desperately not to sound like Dick Van Dyke on crack – or should that be trying to sound like him?

Time elapsed since someone mentioned D.V.D.'s accent: 10 days



Now, on to a completely gratuitous D.V.D. accent mention as the lead-in to a trivia question:

The Huddersfield Examiner, April 5th, 2008

In the film Mary Poppins, Dick van Dyke’s “Cockney” accent has been much mocked ever since; but what species of bird shown in the film was an American one masquerading as British?

Usually the part after the "but" is supposed to have something to do with the part before it. May I suggest, "Dick Van Dyke wasn't the only American pretending to be British in Mary Poppins; what American species of bird in the film also tried unsuccessfully to pass as British?" Or something.

Time elapsed since someone mentioned D.V.D.'s accent: 8 days

The Spoof, April 6, 2008, "Johnny Depp Says He Has Always Been A Big Fan Of Dick" by Duncan Whitehead

Johnny Depp has finally admitted what many have suspected for years, he is not only a big fan of Dick but he embraces Dick and wishes that there was more Dick on TV.

Actor Dick Van Dyke is thrilled by the news.

"I loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Mary Poppins" said Depp "Van Dyke has that cockney accent down to a tee. It's nearly as good as mine, I based my accent on his. I wish he was on TV more than he is."

Van Dyke, who is not George Clooney's father, despite their resemblance says he is a big fan of Depp. "I love Johnny's movies, especially the Matrix and Speed. He is one of Hollywood's brightest young stars."

Bleugh. Not exactly Private Eye, is it? As Homer Simpson once shouted at his TV: "BE FUNNIER!"

Okay, that clinches it. I have posted two links to D.V.D. references in "The Spoof" (here's the first), and they have both been horrible. No more quotes on this blog from the unfunny "Spoof". You hear that, Spoof? A blog that comments on how boring it is to complain about Dick Van Dyke's accent has decided that your boring references to Dick Van Dyke's accent are too boring to post.

Time elapsed since someone mentioned D.V.D.'s accent: 1 day